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My 5 year old told me last night that she needed to look fabulous for school tomorrow. When I asked her why, she said that it was for this boy that she's been in day care with since she was 4 months old. She said that her best friend told her that if she was fabulous then the boys would follow her around. We had a conversation about looking nice to make ourselves feel good about ourselves, and not worrying about what other people think, and that our real friends (boys and girls) should like us for who we are and not what we look like. Is this normal at 5? I don't remember this when I was 5! ”

Asked by Niki D on 30th May 2008 | 4 replies

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4 replies so far...

Just wait until junior-high school. I teach 9th grade and it is amazing to me that kids are so sexually involved etc. I think the key is being involved early. Monitor her television, friends, and don't let grow-up things enter to early. My niece who's five does not get to watch Hannah Montana anymore because she was acting too grown up. So if something popups just readjust and don't be afraid to take something away, (certain friends, cell phones, tv programs, etc) to preserve her innocence.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by lit-teach-ma on 16th July 2008
It's so hard and frustrating when I have to battle to preserve the values and beliefs I have had to instill in the girls against things like this from the outside. I am very conscious of what I say around them, and we never even use words like "fat" or "chubby" or anything because we don't want them to be concerned about body image and appearance. We talk about being healthy, and still at 5 she is already hearing about these things from friends.
It's especially hard because the friend in question is her favorite friend, they have been together since they were newborns, and they do everything together, and I love her parents, they are great, but mom is the owner of a spa and very image conscious and I know that's where it comes from.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Niki D on 4th June 2008
I also have a kindy daughter who is very concerned about her looks. My 2nd grader never had these concerns. I really don't know how to handle it. I think it is all coming from one of her friends. She told me that her friend said "boys don't like girls who wear glasses". And now, the other day I was with the two of them and C had just taken off her glasses to adjust them and the friend said "you look much better without your glasses". UUGH!!! I was so mad...but at this point we just continue to have conversations similar to your's.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by olive on 4th June 2008
Oh my Gosh! I don't remember this at 5 either. I did used to like boys at that age, that part is true. But I don't even think I ever gave a thought about how I looked at that age. It's great to look good but I think that most 5 year olds are cute no matter what!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by oceans mom on 31st May 2008