My kid has started crying every day when I leave for my work, she never used to do this before, what should be done to make her feel more independent and happy at home?”
It has to be the change of nannies. Kids don't like too much change. At my sons school, when someone other than his nanny comes to take him from me, he cries, even if he knows them! He doesn't like anyone but her to take him from me. In fact, one day he actually swatted a lady's hands and turned away when she went to take him from me! But when Ms Nancy comes to the door, he's all smiles and giggles. Give it sometime and she will warm up to the new nanny.
I make the care provider for my daughter give her hugs every time I leave. In fact most of the time I hand her over to open arms. No matter who is watching her she knows that if they open their arms for a hug then its okay with me and it will be okay with her. She does cry sometimes if she is having a bad day, but in the most part she is reassured of the situation. This goes for the nanny, the caretakers at they gym, daycare providers. We have changed providers alot in the last few months and at daycares sometimes its not consistent on who is in the room each morning. Just an idea.
How about giving something of yours like a key on a string(very short one) and tell her to hold so she know she always has a key to "you" when she feels lonely or scared. How about a lunch time phone call every day and let her hear your voice to reassure her you will be home shortly.
That's all that comes to mind so far. I will try and think of more.
Yeah like u guys seem to be right, her nanny has changed,the previous one left the job without prior notice and the new one has just come in.
More over, in between I was on leave for like 4-5 days and then she had her Granny here for a few days, now that Granny is back to her home town and m back to work, may be this is causing this kind of behavior.. I am still looking for the ways to make her feel more comfortable and independent... don't know what do I do...
Have you always had her at home with a nanny? Have you changed anything about her routine or caretaker? These things would give you a clue as to what may be causing her some problems. Also, I don't mean to go negative, but my first thought would be if something is going on between her and her caretaker. A child's behavior is a great indicator to tell you if there is a problem going on when you're not around. Start off by talking with the caregiver and going over their daily rountine to see if anything's different or has changed. Ask the caregiver if she notices anything different with your child (ie. naptime, eating, pottying, diaper, general behavior) Tell her you've noticed this change and your needing help and answers to get past it or help your daughter cope better.
If you suspect that the caregiver might have something to do with your child's change in behavior and your child can talk, encourage a child-friendly dialogue in a quiet play envirnment (away from the caregiver) that would let you into their world. She (especially girls) can use their limited language skills to give you plenty of indicators if there is foul play going on and she is feeling uncomfortable with the caregiver. If you want you can always install the nanny- cams to get footage of their time together.
I say this b/c children who are used to a certain routine don't usually rebel against it unless something new has been added to it that leaves them uncomfortable and distressed. The challenge is to find out w/o creating more discomfort with the child and unecessarily indicting the caregiver.
You're daughter could also be experiencing some latent separation anxiety and just honestly misses you. Try spending more time with her during the evenings one-on-one and see if that helps. You can also tell her that you will play together or do a special event together when you get home. If this works then you know it was b/c she missed you and you could probably rule out any foul play with the caregiver.
But, in any case - you have to become a supersleuth and put together some hidden clues. Let me know how it all worked out.
6 replies so far...
Flag as inappropriate Posted by oceans mom on 25th June 2008
Flag as inappropriate Posted by TamraB on 13th June 2008
That's all that comes to mind so far. I will try and think of more.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 10th June 2008
More over, in between I was on leave for like 4-5 days and then she had her Granny here for a few days, now that Granny is back to her home town and m back to work, may be this is causing this kind of behavior.. I am still looking for the ways to make her feel more comfortable and independent... don't know what do I do...
Flag as inappropriate Posted by Archi on 7th June 2008
If you suspect that the caregiver might have something to do with your child's change in behavior and your child can talk, encourage a child-friendly dialogue in a quiet play envirnment (away from the caregiver) that would let you into their world. She (especially girls) can use their limited language skills to give you plenty of indicators if there is foul play going on and she is feeling uncomfortable with the caregiver. If you want you can always install the nanny- cams to get footage of their time together.
I say this b/c children who are used to a certain routine don't usually rebel against it unless something new has been added to it that leaves them uncomfortable and distressed. The challenge is to find out w/o creating more discomfort with the child and unecessarily indicting the caregiver.
You're daughter could also be experiencing some latent separation anxiety and just honestly misses you. Try spending more time with her during the evenings one-on-one and see if that helps. You can also tell her that you will play together or do a special event together when you get home. If this works then you know it was b/c she missed you and you could probably rule out any foul play with the caregiver.
But, in any case - you have to become a supersleuth and put together some hidden clues. Let me know how it all worked out.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by caramelsugarberry38 on 5th June 2008
Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 5th June 2008