Member Questions

Ask a question

Have you found a way to get rid of the ever-present working mom guilt?”

11 replies so far...

  • I have learned that I can not let guilt rule me. I am a good mother and a good employee. Worrying about every little thing will only drive me nuts. I focus on what I can do not what I can't.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jess on 7th January 2008

  • I can honestly say that I never felt this working mom-guilt.
    The reason: If I were not a working mom, I would not be able to provide for my son the way I want to be able to provide for him. I may not be there to coddle him during the day, however I feel that by working now, I will be able to form our future to work in a more positive way when it's needed.

    So, the way I get rid of working mom-guilt is to never let myself feel guilty for working, ever.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by The Tattooed Mommie on 26th September 2007

  • I think Nan's right -- focusing on the positives. Like, since I work and want to be with my son after work, he sometimes helps me fix dinner... He's very accustomed to school situations and trusts the adults in his life... he isn't shy... we have a lot to talk about at the end of a day... all positives! :)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by el-e-e on 20th September 2007

  • My husband and I juggled and shifted our schedules around so he provides most of the childcare when I'm at work. I have to get up at an unholy hour to go to work, but I'm home by 2:30pm. I feel hardly a twinge of guilt because I could ask for no better caregiver when I'm at work!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Heather Cook (Writeonmama) on 19th September 2007

  • Well I have inlisted my family in helping me with the guilt. As a family we put together a "Dream Board"
    a mom works because board........we all put in our requests. Disney World and many things included.

    Our board does a couple of things - helps with my guilt and also helps my kids be respectful of my office hours. I work from home and the board reminds them of -- when mom is on the phone - she is working.

    We have really found a great family balance.
    and my new help working moms save time and money site -

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by fhhc on 18th September 2007

  • I resolve to stop writing about feeling guilty for working. This should be easy enough because I have determined that the majority of my guilt does not stem from working. I feel the most guilty for being a person with my own needs. Ninety-nine percent of the time my daughter's well-being comes above my own. This is apparent when I go an entire day without peeing; or when you consider that I worea hideous nursing bra on days when I am not in the office or changed into one immediately after getting home for the first 11 months of her life; or when you can't help but notice that my daughter's wardrobe is much more attractive and extensive than my own.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by AmyBow on 18th September 2007

  • Sometimes yes, sometimes no - and I've been at this a long time. It's gotten easier over time - honestly, I think that's from getting older myself AND seeing how my kid has turned out. I think Kathy and Katie are great role models in this - know and accept who you are, limitations and all, and do the best you can with what you've got. Sometimes I wonder if the guilt comes from what we THINK the world expects from us, or being unrealistic and too demanding of ourselves. It's probably some of each.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 18th September 2007

  • Embarrassingly, no. I feel it all the time. I try to do what Nan suggests - focus on the positives, remember that I am trying my best - but I can't say that it's working 100%. One thing I think I've stopped feeling guilty about is taking time for myself when I really need it - yes, I used to really stress about this:( Now I know that if I don't I will be grumpy and it won't do our family any good at all!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 18th September 2007

  • I really don't think you can get rid of guilt. I would love to have the means to spend unlimited time and resources on my child (Benjamin). But that is unrealistic for me and most working moms. In terms of dealing with it, I try to be very aware of the positive things about our lifestyle that are beneficial to Benjamin and capitalize on them. I also talk about what it is that makes me feel guilty. It's helpful to me, to hear how others deal with the same issues I do. Also, I don't know any mothers that do a single thing they should feel guilty about.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nan on 18th September 2007

  • It has never occurred to me to feel guilty. I have always felt grateful that I was able to work and look after our daughter the way I wanted to. I don't believe that there is an ideal way to do anything, so I don't have to beat myself up for much.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KatieK on 18th September 2007

  • I can't say that I have any secret tricks for being guilt-free but I think just knowing that I cannot be all things to all people and being perfectly OK with that probably helps.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KathyHowe on 18th September 2007