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I'm returning to work from maternity leave next week and I feel absolutely horrible about dropping my two-month old off at the sitters. I'm starting work on Wednesday, but I'm dropping him off starting Monday so I can get used to it. Any advice for this new mom?”

14 replies so far...

  • dont worry same here my kid is 3 months old and i also work for full time all the best

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by rashmi on 8th October 2008

  • Hang in there! Don't wear make-up the first day; you'll cry, and it's okay. It takes time, but you'll adjust.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Daisy on 10th August 2008

  • Make sure you trust the sitter, sit around with the sitter a few different times, and periodically while the sitter is watching your baby, and watch how they interact with the other children, and how the children interact with them. Make sure the sitter has all your numbers and knows exactly what you expect from them. If you are breastfeeding make sure they know how to handle breastmilk (or as I called it, LIQUID GOLD). Ask questions like "how do you handle a crying baby?" "do you let them cry it out, or do you rush to them immediatly?", depending on how they answer, may make you feel safe or not.
    My first sitter was for my 8 week old, she said my daughter was colicy and cried all the time, she said she wouldn't eat (I would pick her up after 8 hrs and find that she didn't eat but maybe a bottle) She went 3 days, and I had to resort to a family member, who then reused my daughters bottle liners and would reuse leftover milk.
    I finally found a sitter that is a match for my family, she is great with her kids and my daughter loves going over there.
    Its all about asking ANY question your heart disires and getting a good answer from the sitter, don't ever second guess yourself. Once you feel safe where your baby is, then you will be fine with dropping your precious baby off, so you can go to work.
    Good luck!!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Rebecca on 30th July 2008

  • Just to let you know: I've been there. It's hard. But it gets easier. Good luck!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 30th July 2008

  • It is easier than you think. Right now your imagiation is on over drive but at this age it is you who will have a hard time with this not your child. I had to start my daughter in daycare at 3yrs old and believe me that is harder. They know what buttons to push and scream and cry mommmmmmy noooooo! try walking away from that. But you have to. You place your child in the arms of the daycare provider and walk away. It is hard but it is harder on the child and you if you stay and try to calm them down. Everything will be fine. You will see. Best of luck.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Martha on 23rd July 2008

  • I had to go back to my full-time job when two of my children were just 8 weeks old too...and I was breast-feeding, which is a whole other experience to manage. By the time I had my third child, I had quit my full-time job and started a business.

    One of the things that helped me in my transition back to full-time work, was negotiating a flexible work arrangement with my employer. Initially, I asked for a part-time schedule (and ended up getting it, with my full-time pay!) and then I asked for a partial-telecommute schedule (which I was also granted). Many new moms tell me that their employer would never consider such options and I thought the same thing too, before I asked. Even though no one in my company had ever been approved for the kind of requests I made and I was initially rejected, I went back, did some research and presented a strong business case for granting my request.

    I did have help. Check out: http://www.integratedmother.com/blog/five-ways-to-work-four-days-a-week/. Pat at WorkOptions.com offers terrific templates you can use to develop a strong proposal to pitch to your employer.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Michele Dortch on 18th July 2008

  • Thanks you guys. The first two weeks of life were a transition, and now that I've gotten used to that, I need to go get used to something new! You know, people warned me about all this, but like everything else with pregnancy, childbirth, and mommydom, you need to experience it to fully understand it!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by polcyn5 on 18th July 2008

  • What you are feeling is completely normal. It will be hard at first, it does get better. I used to worry a lot even though my daughter was doing very well and was a very happy baby. Now she is 16 months and like Jen said, she seems bored at home with us. She is in daycare and she runs into her classroom and gives her teacher a hug everyday. I had to go back that early as well, and I think it has been easier on my daughter - we have really no separation anxiety with daycare because it is just her normal routine.

    Know that you did your research and chose a good sitter. Also know that is is harder on you than on your child.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Stacey S on 18th July 2008

  • It's good that you're starting to get used to it before actually going back to work. I had two weeks to get used to it before I started working! You have to keep telling yourself that you're doing the right thing. Your baby won't be affected, and will probably benefit from being around other people. Make sure you spend Monday and Tuesday doing things for yourself ...

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Michelle on 18th July 2008

  • I started dreading my return to work and the impending daycare situation. I would cry every time I thought about it. I actually put it off by two weeks because I just didn't feel ready.

    That two week window really helped me prepare mentally for the transition. We started by dropping our 14 week old son off an hour or two a day prior to my return just for our own mental well being. After only a week Jack's face would light up when he saw his caregiver, so we knew he was doing just fine there. Now he looks forward to seeing all his friends, we almost feel like he's bored when he's home with us! If we had the choice we'd love to spend all day with Jack, but we feel comfortable with our routine and we know that Jack does too.

    Good luck! The first few weeks are the hardest!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jen on 18th July 2008

  • I know how you feel. When I went back to work when my (now 4 1/2 year-old) son was an infant, I agonized about leaving him with the nanny.....and I was working at the other side of my house (never mind dropping him off). If you have found a good and safe child care, you are doing such a great thing. As much as I loved my in-home care, it was very hard to make the transition to preschool and being out of the house. Trust me, your infant will be fine. This is much harder on you than the baby. And..getting the baby used to being out of the house is, in my opinion, wonderful. Later, when you transition to a preschool environment, it won't be so much of a big deal. I hope you plan to see a movie or get some sleep or something on Monday and Tuesday. Good Luck!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 17th July 2008

  • I think it is great that you are starting baby's week before you start your week.

    Just know that you'll miss him. And know that you'll feel better once you start seeing him adjust to someone else providing care for him.

    At times, it is still tough to drop-off my little guy, but overall, he loves his his providers, and is so excited to see his daddy (who picks him up) later.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by RC on 17th July 2008

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