Hi...I live in the Dallas area and have 2 small children. I have a dilemna that has permeated every facet of my life for the last 6 months and am looking to others for help. We have had 5 nannies in the last six months and the turmoil and change it has created in our lives is just out of control. The reasons we've had so many vary - from going back to school, pregnancy, debilitating automobile accidents to unacceptable on the job behavior. We are now in the process of trying to find out 5th nanny and I just pray someone will come along and be "normal", loving, and caring. It breaks my heart to have to send them to daycare so we are trying to avoid at all costs. One recurring probelm is this: we communicate our expectations up front, in writing and ask the nanny to sign. But when it comes time to follow these expectations, they fall short and do not follow our desires (i.e., 30 minutes of reading time a day, no TV, etc) or if reminded, they will follow for a day or two only. My husband and I continually walk on egg shells because upon discussion, our fear is the nanny will quit and leave us hanging (one quit by emailing us at 11pm one night saying it "wasn't working out" after we reminded her of our policy of not using our computer while the children were awake). So my question is this: is there anyone else out there who has a nanny (we pay ours $400 a week, net, to watch 2 children, one of which is only there 3 days a week) and do they live in constant fear she will quit or just not show up? How do you deal with that and how does one find a good nanny without spending a fortune on agencies (we used Care.com and a few other websites)? What about emergency child care as we do not have any family near us!! I just need someone to talk to who has been through this because I'm so exasperated that I'm in tears!
Asked by Sue on 10th November 2008 |