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I am a first year full-time teacher and I have an 18 month old little girl. I also just moved to a large city about a year ago. Do you think it is strange that within a year I haven't developed a small group of close friends or would you pass it off as LACK O" TIME?”

Asked by mexy on 6th December 2008 | 5 replies

5 replies so far...

I have moved across country three times - all to big cities. It is very difficult to make friends in a one year period. This is completely normal, even when I had no child and plenty of time. It will take at least 2 years to start making good friends, in my experience. The larger the city, the longer time you can expect. If your daughter is in daycare, you may find some people there. It took me about 2-3 years to settle into LA and about 2 years to start to settle into Miami. My husband still doesn't really have a close group of friends. I am trying really hard to get him one but because he works so far, most of the people he meets live far from home so he is still struggling. It's always harder to make friends in bigger cities, I think, but a year is nowhere near enough time in my experience.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by oceans mom on 29th December 2008
My husband and I moved across country about a year before I had my son (1/07). We knew no one in our new city. I haven't made close friends since moving or having the baby. It's hard to find the time to do the things that build strong female friendships like when you were single or childless (book clubs, evening classes, girls nights out, volunteer work, etc.) especially when you work full time. I did find a moms group thru meetup.com and I highly recommend using the site to find a moms group in our town. Most of the moms do not work full time and I haven't meet my best bud but it's nice to have dates with other women and just have a good laugh.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Susan A on 9th December 2008
I'm not surprised. Everyone is so busy and we lead pretty isolated lives which makes it hard to meet other people. About 10 years ago, a friend of mine invited a group of women to her home for the evening. We have been doing that once a month ever since. Through these gatherings I have made some very good friends. It just took one person to make the effort and as a result we have a wonderful time together.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by marathonmom on 8th December 2008
Thanks Angela, it is difficult isn't it! We are all juggling soo much-it has taken me awhile to adjust to that because before I had my girl-I was a social butterfly. I just have to accept I am in adifferent phase now! Take care!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by mexy on 8th December 2008
We moved to a new city about a year and a half ago and I can't say that I have a close group of friends. I am friendly with some of the moms in my daughter's school and activities, but I think the complete lack of time is the cause for why we're not quite close.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by test on 7th December 2008