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Did anyone else lack intimacy with their partner after having kids? I know this is a common issue for most couples with children, but my kids are approaching 1 year old, and I still have no enthusiasm for rekindling the old flames with my husband. We try to set aside time for each other in the evening when the kids are asleep, but we're both just so exhausted...we have nothing left for each other...maybe a good 30 minute talk, then lights out. It's quite sad, actually.”

Asked by Meredith on 25th December 2008 | 6 replies

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6 replies so far...

We have two kids as well and intimate time is non-existent! I would suggest getting someone to look after the kids at their house, maybe a family member if they live near by? Then head home, relax, have some together time, fit in a nap and go pick up the kids.

Otherwise, I`d say go for some variations . . . away from the bed. Chances are you lie down and just feel sleepy, that`s what happens to us! So get creative and move away from the bed. :)

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Genesis on 17th January 2009
One of the things that helps me the most is getting away for several hours so I can "let go" of the burden of my daughter. If you can at all have someone care for them for a while and go somewhere you've never been, try to explore new things in a new area and then maybe it won't be such an effort in the bedroom!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Krippy on 13th January 2009
Keep finding time for you both together and alone and the most important is do something that you love to do... maybe that will work out.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Geo on 6th January 2009
My husband and I have found that nap time is a great time for a little extra lovin'. We usually have more energy.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by klg on 3rd January 2009
Thanks for the suggestions, Vera. We have gone to a hotel once since they were born (it was about 8 weeks after their birth). Unfortunately, we live in a 1 bedroom condo (bought it the day before we found out we were even pregnant--then twins!). So, our living room is the 'all purpose' room for my husband and I, we sleep on our pull out. We're super desperate to move out and have our own space. I'll definitely look into the book--thanks so much for the help!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Meredith on 25th December 2008
A couple with exact same concern appeared on Rachael Ray show about a year ago, (when I was on maternity leave with my daughter and had time for day time tv). Hilda Hutchreson, the sex therapy expert, has a book, What Your Mother Never Told you About Sex, gave some tips. She suggested going to a hotel. She also suggested spicing up the bedroom, and writing down your fantasies on a piece of paper and placing them in a jar. Then pull out that paper and fulfill. So this becomes like a game. I guess with all the exhaustion, you forgot about your sexual self. It's time to dig it out.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 25th December 2008