Member Questions

Ask a question

How do you deal with the guilt of putting your child in daycare to go back to work? My daughter is only 8 weeks old and is going to daycare Monday and I am struggling.”

9 replies so far...

  • Honestly? I just had to get over it, and it took time. I was fortunate that we are allow a three month leave. I nursed all my babies so I found a daycare close to work and went there for lunch (her lunch!). But it hurt my heart and soul but after a while, I could tell she (they) were loved and treated well at daycare and that helped to lesson the guilt. As I said, it did subside after a few months.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Bina on 20th May 2009

  • I went back when my daughter was 7 weeks. It was really hard at first, but really good to be around adults as well. Trust that you chose good daycare providers and get to know them. Watch your child. My husbands advice was the best - stop worrying, look how great she is doing! He was right. My daughter has thrived. Make sure you spend good quality time with your daughter when not working and it will be ok.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Stacey S on 5th May 2009

  • Yes Kate,

    a good care center builds confidence, helps with the development of good social skills, and helps build immunity!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Uhura on 5th May 2009

  • i think i worried so much about feeling guilty that i didnt even realize that i didnt really feel guilty. until i walked into the office and took a deep breath and a HUGE smile! i knew i wanted to be at work - i adore my child and being a mother AND i love working! If you are happy with the daycare, know that she is cared for, loved, and happy and that she is sooo happy to see you when you pick her up :) my son is a little shy so for him, daycare has been a great way for him to make friends and build confidence!

    how have your last couple of weeks been?

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 4th May 2009

  • I dealt with it by NOT feeling guilty.

    Guilt implies wrongdoing & using daycare & childcare isn't wrong.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Uhura on 4th May 2009

  • I was very blessed and never had to leave them at daycare when they were that young. Now I have my own business so I never have to send them to daycare.

    Don't let the guilt eat you up. Do your best and when you can do better for them you will.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by PamperedKitchen on 1st May 2009

  • It's really really stressful. For me, anticipating leaving my baby was super hard, but the day to day was bearable. And after I realized that he was still happy and growing and learning, it felt a lot better. Your baby can be really bonded and attached to you even with you at work all day. For me, cosleeping and really focusing on my little one when I was home was also really helpful. I still have good days and bad days and so does he, but he loves his care provider and is a happy healthy well adjusted little guy. If you can shorten your day, even a little bit, and work some when she sleeps at night, that can take some of the pressure off. Like anything hard, you only have to deal with one day at a time. And eventually, you can even let yourself feel proud for being a good mom and being a good worker. It does get easier!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by lalala on 30th April 2009

  • my GOD
    i cant even imagine this

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by shamaila on 30th April 2009

  • Guilt implies that you are doing something that is wrong. Do you feel that it is wrong for your daughter to be in daycare? If not, I suggest trying to re-examine your feelings and re-frame them. Journaling might help you do this. It helped me.

    You are going to miss her. No doubt. It would be weird if you didn't. For me, compartmentalizing really helped when m daughter was young. At work, I focused on work. When I walked out the door, I forgot about work and focused on my daughter. Also, realize that at this young an age, she really doesn't have any concept of the passage of time. As long as her care provider(s) are loving and she can develop a caraing attachment to them, she will be FINE. She will be happy and loved and cared for. It's actually much harder on us mommies than it is on the babies, IMO.

    It gets easier. It really does. Hugs, KRS!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 30th April 2009