Member Questions

Ask a question

In your daily juggle, what do you think gets shortchanged: kids, work, or your relationship with your husband/partner?”

Asked by Work It, Mom! Team on 1st November 2007 | 11 replies

11 replies so far...

The last month has been really busy and because my hubby and I are on different shifts we have been really missing out on "our time". Though my rule of thumb is to rotate what gets shortchanged, in order to maintain some balance. Sometimes, it means that I just have to stop working to spend time with my family and vice versa.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Tonya Ramsey on 2nd November 2007
I'm completely with Nataly on this one - hubby then me. I feel like I'm always 'on' for both the kids and work and then there is so little left to share. I'm working on ways to make that better, though, and hopefully I'll make some progress in the next month. I'm setting the plan in motion today, as a matter of fact!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mandy Nelson - Dandysound on 2nd November 2007
Depends whose got what going on! Usually when I leave work, I LEAVE work and try not to bring any home (is that neglect???). Generally I prioritize kids first, work second and husband third..which looks very cold when I actually type it out!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by OliveMartini on 2nd November 2007
It varies between them all -- which, I suppose, is balance of a sort, right? In fact, I think it's the best we can do: you really CAN'T have it all, there are always compromises required, but I suspect that whenever you're feeling guilty about NOT giving time to husband, child(ren), work, or self, it's because you ARE giving lots of time to a different one of the four. So, if you rotate your guilt, you're probably rotating your attention -- and that's good, right?

I think it probably is!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryP on 2nd November 2007
yup, my hubby is the most ignored these days. i count my overworking, WIMing (ooh you are a verb now!) and my commute as 'me time' since i enjoy them :) but poor hubby gets lost in the mix. our son gets lots of attention! i keep trying to at least combine those - hubby AND kid time! usualy we at least have dinner together. though not tonight since i am still in the office at 6:03pm.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 1st November 2007
I hate to say this but lately work is coming forst. I need to make sure I have more family time. My Daughter is at school all day, so when she is home in the evenings, I try my best to spend time with her. My husband is also busy and, for now it is working for both of us. I always put myself last...but i have been making sure that i stick to an exercise routine 5 days a week. I have a exercise partner and she ignores my excuses not to make it, and stays on me to take that time to get in shape. I think I need to make time to reschedule how my life is currently operating, so taht I have some breathing room and more quality time with my family.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by GirlswithGoals on 1st November 2007
I'd have to say my husband, and then me. It's something I need to work on. I feel like I've gotten the routine down with getting work done and being a good mom, focused mom, but that's all at the expense of spending time with my husband or taking time for myself.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 1st November 2007
Work! I decided a long time ago that my priority was my connection with my kids. I have never felt emotional regret for missing something with work as profoundly as missing out on something with the kids.
If I am juggling...the kids come up to the top priority level without hesitation for me.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by RecoveryCoach on 1st November 2007
All three! I feel like there's never enough time to do everything. I crave enough time to give everything 100%, but that's just never going to happen. My mother had just one focus: us. And I certainly don't want to live like she did, but she didn't have to juggle. On the other hand, I always ask myself: was she happier than I am now? I don't think so!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Diane on 1st November 2007
Any or all, it depends on the day of the week! :-) Lately, it's probably work that suffers the most, though. My husband will usually let me know if he thinks it's him :-). But I don't think it's the kids...since my stepkids are with us part-time and their dad takes the lead with them, I don't think they're too deprived.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 1st November 2007
Oh, work does, right now. But second in that line is my husband. Poor guy!

Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jen Creer on 1st November 2007